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things i learned from mother

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things i learned from mother

Post by s.t.mann on Wed May 14, 2014 4:04 pm

Things I Learned from My Mother
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC - "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC - "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM - "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER - "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION - "Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING - "You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE - "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
19. My mother taught me about CHOICE - "Do you want me to stop this car?"
20. My mother taught me ESP - "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
21. My mother taught me HUMOR - "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
22. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT - "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
23. My mother taught me GENETICS - "You're just like your father."
24. My mother taught me about my ROOTS - "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
25. My mother taught me WISDOM - "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
26. My mother taught me about JUSTICE - "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


this is NOT my writing;  author not known to me...

s.t.mann
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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by Lora on Fri May 23, 2014 1:58 pm

Computer Giggle   I enjoyed that!

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by s.t.mann on Fri May 23, 2014 2:54 pm

awesome!  i guess we can all relate to at least a few of them!

no idea who put it together or when...but its at least several years old!

grace and peace miss lora!

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by Lora on Fri May 23, 2014 4:09 pm

I survived my finals! Out for the summer. Now all I have to do is finish my thesis proposal, conduct a pilot study for my thesis, TA for my mentor professor, and find some consulting work. Piece of cake!    Crosseyed

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by s.t.mann on Fri May 23, 2014 4:46 pm

definitely on the down hill side, lora!  i figgered as much, beings how you are on tawkin Christians non stop lately!!  smile...

keep up your good work!!

proud of you...

s.t.mann
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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by Lora on Fri May 23, 2014 4:54 pm

Yeah, I thought that would be a giveaway.   Giggle  Now I've got to make my way over to Christian Creative Writers and catch up on my work over there. It's all way overdue. Thankfully I'm not being graded on it, because I would get a big fat "F."  I'm undecided on whether to do a new workshop so I'm kind of avoiding it. I need to catch up with the writing contests and I there's the little matter of starting the new editing and critiquing services. I don't even know where to begin.

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by s.t.mann on Fri May 23, 2014 5:02 pm

hmmmm....well, like the song says, start at the very beginning...a very good place to start;  on your knees of course!

again - proud of you!  impressed with your diligence and works that benefit so many!! 

grace and peace, friend...

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by Lora on Fri May 23, 2014 5:12 pm

Awe, thank you S.T.   pshaw   Great advice and a great place to start!

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Re: things i learned from mother

Post by s.t.mann on Fri May 23, 2014 5:14 pm

...!!!...

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